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Cold callers
Oct. 11th, 2018 03:16 pm I rarely answer the phone these days. Unless I'm expecting a call, or I'm standing next to the phone and I recognise the number I just let it go to the answer machine. If I hear a message being left, I'll pick it up. Usually, no message is left. And as the phone is in the hall, if the door to the hall is closed and I'm listening to music or the television, I might not even hear it ring.
So just after noon today I was listening to music and in a quiet bit I heard the phone ring. Didn't hear a message being left (although at that point the music had got louder) so I let it be.
When I finally noticed the missed call light flashing I pressed the play button.
Yesterday I found a message recorded that appeared to be several seconds of office noise and people speaking in northern accents (either Lancashire or Yorkshire, the voices were indistinct). That call had its number withheld as did the one today. More office noise, but one voice was more distinct: "Hello? Hello? Fuck off!".
Usually it's me wanting to say that to cold callers (but I'm too polite too).
So just after noon today I was listening to music and in a quiet bit I heard the phone ring. Didn't hear a message being left (although at that point the music had got louder) so I let it be.
When I finally noticed the missed call light flashing I pressed the play button.
Yesterday I found a message recorded that appeared to be several seconds of office noise and people speaking in northern accents (either Lancashire or Yorkshire, the voices were indistinct). That call had its number withheld as did the one today. More office noise, but one voice was more distinct: "Hello? Hello? Fuck off!".
Usually it's me wanting to say that to cold callers (but I'm too polite too).
When I got back from holiday nearly two weeks ago, I was slightly surprised that there was no flashing light on my phone answering machine. Usually there are a number of blank messages from cold callers not wishing to leave a message.
It's an indication of how little I use my phone that I didn't get round to thinking about this until two days ago. In that time, I had not needed to make a phone call and no-one had told me they'd tried to phone but couldn't get through. And I hadn't had any cold callers. And it's not like I've been relying on my mobile. I tend to switch that on only if I'm going out.
It was because of my mobile that I discovered the phone wasn't working. I'd noticed a while back that voicemail on the mobile had got switched off and it was only last week that I worked out how to switch it back on again. And it wasn't until Tuesday that I though I ought to test that it was indeed working. But, remembering at this point that the landline had been suspiciously quite over the last couple of weeks, the first thing I tried was phoning the landline from the mobile. Line busy.
So I went to the phone and picked up the handset. No dial tone.
The phone is a combined cordless phone and answer machine so I wondered if that was faulty. There is another extension in my bedroom, but I know there is a fault with that: the bell doesn't sound for an incoming call. As the phone is right next to my head when I'm in bed, I consider that a feature not a bug. But there was no dial tone on that, either.
I did find an old handset that I brought from my old place in London when I moved over twenty years ago. I hadn't plugged it in for at least ten years, so I was not sure if that was working. But I didn't get a dial tone on that, either.
I phoned BT and they tested the line. They couldn't detect a fault. They got me to disassemble the socket to reveal a test socket and to plug the hand set directly into that. Still no dial tone. They wanted me to find another handset that was known to be working. I didn't want to ask my neighbours if they had one I could borrow; that sounded a bit weird. The alternative was to get an engineer to visit, and if it turned out that it was my handset that was faulty, I would get charged £129. I reckoned that all three handsets couldn't be faulty in the same way and gambled on the odds that it was the line.
As it happened, after that call I remembered that my Sky satellite box has a phone connection - you use it if you want to order a film from their Box Office service. The status screen for the box showed the phone line unconnected, which seemed like more evidence in my favour.
The engineer came out this afternoon and the first thing he did was to dismantle the socket again and plug a test phone in.
"Dead as a door-nail," he said. I was right.
So he traced the phone line back to a box on the wall between my house and next door. After a few minutes he came back in to say the fault was further down the line and he had to work out where. He drove off, saying he'd be back.
I did notice whilst he was away that my broadband connection went down. After a few minutes it came back again and so did the engineer. And the phone was now working. Apparently, someone had done a bodge job of connecting the line somewhere and it had eventually failed.
When he'd gone I tested the other two handsets. They were both still working. And Sky was reporting the phone line connected.
I haven't had any cold callers, yet.
It's an indication of how little I use my phone that I didn't get round to thinking about this until two days ago. In that time, I had not needed to make a phone call and no-one had told me they'd tried to phone but couldn't get through. And I hadn't had any cold callers. And it's not like I've been relying on my mobile. I tend to switch that on only if I'm going out.
It was because of my mobile that I discovered the phone wasn't working. I'd noticed a while back that voicemail on the mobile had got switched off and it was only last week that I worked out how to switch it back on again. And it wasn't until Tuesday that I though I ought to test that it was indeed working. But, remembering at this point that the landline had been suspiciously quite over the last couple of weeks, the first thing I tried was phoning the landline from the mobile. Line busy.
So I went to the phone and picked up the handset. No dial tone.
The phone is a combined cordless phone and answer machine so I wondered if that was faulty. There is another extension in my bedroom, but I know there is a fault with that: the bell doesn't sound for an incoming call. As the phone is right next to my head when I'm in bed, I consider that a feature not a bug. But there was no dial tone on that, either.
I did find an old handset that I brought from my old place in London when I moved over twenty years ago. I hadn't plugged it in for at least ten years, so I was not sure if that was working. But I didn't get a dial tone on that, either.
I phoned BT and they tested the line. They couldn't detect a fault. They got me to disassemble the socket to reveal a test socket and to plug the hand set directly into that. Still no dial tone. They wanted me to find another handset that was known to be working. I didn't want to ask my neighbours if they had one I could borrow; that sounded a bit weird. The alternative was to get an engineer to visit, and if it turned out that it was my handset that was faulty, I would get charged £129. I reckoned that all three handsets couldn't be faulty in the same way and gambled on the odds that it was the line.
As it happened, after that call I remembered that my Sky satellite box has a phone connection - you use it if you want to order a film from their Box Office service. The status screen for the box showed the phone line unconnected, which seemed like more evidence in my favour.
The engineer came out this afternoon and the first thing he did was to dismantle the socket again and plug a test phone in.
"Dead as a door-nail," he said. I was right.
So he traced the phone line back to a box on the wall between my house and next door. After a few minutes he came back in to say the fault was further down the line and he had to work out where. He drove off, saying he'd be back.
I did notice whilst he was away that my broadband connection went down. After a few minutes it came back again and so did the engineer. And the phone was now working. Apparently, someone had done a bodge job of connecting the line somewhere and it had eventually failed.
When he'd gone I tested the other two handsets. They were both still working. And Sky was reporting the phone line connected.
I haven't had any cold callers, yet.
I think next door must be having trouble with their drains. I noticed a large white van parked outside. I can't read the side of the van, as the hedge is in the way (and I'm not nosey enough to go out and have a look) but the slogan painted on the front of the van is "Number one at clearing number twos." The number plate is WC04POO .
What is it?
Mar. 31st, 2016 04:50 pmI see from the news that there was quite a storm over the weekend, especially in the south of England. I was indoors most of that time in Manchester. I was worried that my house might be damaged but when I got home on Tuesday, all seemed to be OK.
However, I found in my garden something that should not have been there, next to my greenhouse. Here are a couple of pictures.
( Pictures )
To give an idea of size, the largest diameter seems to be about 40cm and the inner ring on the second photograph is about 30cm.
I have no idea what this is. I'd guess something like the vent for an extractor fan. I did wonder if it had fallen off a passing aircraft, but it doesn't look right for that.
But, how did it get there? If it blew off a nearby building, it was lucky it didn't hit the greenhouse, or even the house. It looks battered enough to have fallen. It seems a bit heavy for something that someone threw from the street, as it would have had to have gone over my neighbour's garden to get into mine. Did someone come through my back gate and just dump in there?
However, I found in my garden something that should not have been there, next to my greenhouse. Here are a couple of pictures.
( Pictures )
To give an idea of size, the largest diameter seems to be about 40cm and the inner ring on the second photograph is about 30cm.
I have no idea what this is. I'd guess something like the vent for an extractor fan. I did wonder if it had fallen off a passing aircraft, but it doesn't look right for that.
But, how did it get there? If it blew off a nearby building, it was lucky it didn't hit the greenhouse, or even the house. It looks battered enough to have fallen. It seems a bit heavy for something that someone threw from the street, as it would have had to have gone over my neighbour's garden to get into mine. Did someone come through my back gate and just dump in there?
Cold Callers
Dec. 16th, 2015 11:58 amThere has been a lot of correspondence in The Independent this week about how to deal with cold callers. It started a couple of weeks ago when one of their journalists in the Saturday financial section gave his tips, and readers responded with theirs. Most of them seemed to be designed to keep the said caller talking for as long as possible without actually accomplishing anything for the caller, except to waste their time and money.
My feeling is, life is too short. I wrote a letter to the Indie saying this although they haven't published it (yet).
In seems as if the rise of the cold caller corresponded to the time I retired but this could be that being at home all the time, I noticed them more. Soon after I retired I did register with the telephone preference service, but that doesn't do much good for those companies phoning from abroad, or legitimate companies such as American Express who claim they have the right to phone me as I have one of their cards. For instance, Domestic and General with whom I have a number of insurance repair policies for things like the cooker and the television, insist on phoning me when it's time to renew, even though they also send me a letter and I'd much rather renew over the internet than over the phone.
The thing is, I rather dislike speaking over the phone. I get tongue-tied, whereas with an e-mail, I can make sure it says what I want it to say before sending. And therefore, most people I know don't phone me, they just e-mail me.
The result is that getting on for 99% of all phone calls I receive are cold calls. So I've stopped answering the phone. If I hear it - the handset is usually in the hall and if the door to the hall is closed and I am watching the TV or listening to music, I often don't hear it - I just let it ring. And one thing I have discovered is that cold callers almost invariably don't leave messages. If I do hear a voice leaving a message, I'll try and pick the phone up if I can get to it. The only exception is some company offering PPI compensation who have a recorded voice leaving a message. As that message involves pressing phone keys, which won't work on a recorded message, I'm not sure what they are trying to achieve. I suspect their crappy phoning hardware doesn't properly detect answerphones. If I do hear one of those calls, I can detect that it is not a live human speaking almost from the first syllable by the tone of the voice.
What I can't understands is why, if no-one ever answers at my number, they still keep ringing it.
And that is my guide to how to deal with cold callers.
My feeling is, life is too short. I wrote a letter to the Indie saying this although they haven't published it (yet).
In seems as if the rise of the cold caller corresponded to the time I retired but this could be that being at home all the time, I noticed them more. Soon after I retired I did register with the telephone preference service, but that doesn't do much good for those companies phoning from abroad, or legitimate companies such as American Express who claim they have the right to phone me as I have one of their cards. For instance, Domestic and General with whom I have a number of insurance repair policies for things like the cooker and the television, insist on phoning me when it's time to renew, even though they also send me a letter and I'd much rather renew over the internet than over the phone.
The thing is, I rather dislike speaking over the phone. I get tongue-tied, whereas with an e-mail, I can make sure it says what I want it to say before sending. And therefore, most people I know don't phone me, they just e-mail me.
The result is that getting on for 99% of all phone calls I receive are cold calls. So I've stopped answering the phone. If I hear it - the handset is usually in the hall and if the door to the hall is closed and I am watching the TV or listening to music, I often don't hear it - I just let it ring. And one thing I have discovered is that cold callers almost invariably don't leave messages. If I do hear a voice leaving a message, I'll try and pick the phone up if I can get to it. The only exception is some company offering PPI compensation who have a recorded voice leaving a message. As that message involves pressing phone keys, which won't work on a recorded message, I'm not sure what they are trying to achieve. I suspect their crappy phoning hardware doesn't properly detect answerphones. If I do hear one of those calls, I can detect that it is not a live human speaking almost from the first syllable by the tone of the voice.
What I can't understands is why, if no-one ever answers at my number, they still keep ringing it.
And that is my guide to how to deal with cold callers.
Life imitating art
Oct. 25th, 2015 02:11 pmI went to see Dave Gorman at the G Live in Guildford last night. (I'm not sure, but I think this is the first time I've ever gone to a comedy gig.)
The show is called Dave Gorman -Gets Straight To The Point (The Powerpoint), and it starts with a Powerpoint display with Gorman doing a voice-over about how great it is to be in his favourite town. The slide that comes up says, "Insert name of town here before show". It's an old joke, and I've used it myself.
After the show, G Live sent me an e-mail asking me to rate the experience. The e-mail looked OK on Thunderbird, but on this computer I archive all my e-mails in Ameol, an antiquated piece of software developed especially for Cix in the nineties (if not earlier) that expects all e-mails to be text only. There, the e-mail read: "We hope very much that you enjoyed XXXXXX. Here at the XXXXX".
Curiously, this is the second time this has happened to me with something Dave Gorman related. I got his book Too Much Information for Christmas. One of his observations in that is after following Chas and Dave on Facebook (or maybe it was Twitter), he received a message saying, "I see you are interested in Chas and Dave. You might also like to follow Kylie Minogue." Nobody in the history of the world, he suggested, has looked at someone's record collection and said, "I see you have records by Chas and Dave. I bet you like Kylie Minogue, too."
After reading the book, I entered it into Goodreads. It came up with other suggestions based on my liking this book. One of them was "Programming for Dummies".
The show is called Dave Gorman -Gets Straight To The Point (The Powerpoint), and it starts with a Powerpoint display with Gorman doing a voice-over about how great it is to be in his favourite town. The slide that comes up says, "Insert name of town here before show". It's an old joke, and I've used it myself.
After the show, G Live sent me an e-mail asking me to rate the experience. The e-mail looked OK on Thunderbird, but on this computer I archive all my e-mails in Ameol, an antiquated piece of software developed especially for Cix in the nineties (if not earlier) that expects all e-mails to be text only. There, the e-mail read: "We hope very much that you enjoyed XXXXXX. Here at the XXXXX".
Curiously, this is the second time this has happened to me with something Dave Gorman related. I got his book Too Much Information for Christmas. One of his observations in that is after following Chas and Dave on Facebook (or maybe it was Twitter), he received a message saying, "I see you are interested in Chas and Dave. You might also like to follow Kylie Minogue." Nobody in the history of the world, he suggested, has looked at someone's record collection and said, "I see you have records by Chas and Dave. I bet you like Kylie Minogue, too."
After reading the book, I entered it into Goodreads. It came up with other suggestions based on my liking this book. One of them was "Programming for Dummies".
When I got home from a visit to Tesco just now, there was a helicopter hovering overhead. Right overhead. As I went to open my front door, I realised it was directly above me. I entered the house and it went away.
Obviously They were waiting for me to come home. I wonder what happens next.
Obviously They were waiting for me to come home. I wonder what happens next.
Seen in Guildford
May. 8th, 2015 01:04 pmA tanker lorry with the name Suck-Cess in big letters on its side.
Such an obvious name, I'm suprised I haven't seen it before.
http://suckcessdrainservices.co.uk/
Such an obvious name, I'm suprised I haven't seen it before.
http://suckcessdrainservices.co.uk/
How not to arrange a delivery
Oct. 9th, 2014 11:40 amI was working on my computer a couple of days ago and I heard the phone ring. I let the answer machine pick up and I heard a voice. But when I got to the phone, it was obviously a recorded message. Full text was something like, ",,,press 2. If you are the named person, press 1 otherwise press 2. Sorry there appears to be a problem."
I have caller ID on my phone, which just showed "International". However, there is a separate caller ID device that BT were giving away before I got my current phone and that showed a number.
The number called back later but when I picked up the phone I got a dead line.
Then I got several more "press 2" messages on my answer machine over the next couple of days. http://whocallsme.com/ didn't have the number listed. Another came through this morning while I was hoovering and I hadn't heard the phone ring. So I phoned the number.
It was Habitat. I had ordered something from them through Homebase in Guildford on Monday and they were trying to arrange a delivery date. They have now given me a date. They are supposed to phone me back nearer the date. I hope they use a human to do it.
I have caller ID on my phone, which just showed "International". However, there is a separate caller ID device that BT were giving away before I got my current phone and that showed a number.
The number called back later but when I picked up the phone I got a dead line.
Then I got several more "press 2" messages on my answer machine over the next couple of days. http://whocallsme.com/ didn't have the number listed. Another came through this morning while I was hoovering and I hadn't heard the phone ring. So I phoned the number.
It was Habitat. I had ordered something from them through Homebase in Guildford on Monday and they were trying to arrange a delivery date. They have now given me a date. They are supposed to phone me back nearer the date. I hope they use a human to do it.
I wonder if I should have told him
Sep. 30th, 2014 12:24 pmI was getting in my re-cycling bins just now when I guy came past putting cards for a local taxi firm through the doors. As I went back into my house, he was just putting one in next door. I wonder if I should have told him that the man who lives there actually is a taxi driver.
I can't believe I've just done that!
Jun. 11th, 2014 06:50 pmI had a sudden urge this week to bake a cake, a recipe I've done many times over the last 30 years. Got all the ingredients this morning and prepared them after lunch. The cake required a 1.75 hour cooking time so I went off to do other things.
Went back into the kitchen just now. 20 minutes to go. Then I noticed that I hadn't fully shut the oven door, and thought maybe the cake wouldn't have been fully cooked. Then I thought that the kitchen would be a bit hotter if the oven had been on for nearly two hours with the door open. Opening the door fully I realised the cake tin was still quite cool and my immediate thought was I'd burnt out the oven or something. Then I realised what I'd done.
I'd switched on the top oven and put the cake in the bottom oven! Another two hours before it's cooked (allowing for the oven to heat up first).
Aargh!
Went back into the kitchen just now. 20 minutes to go. Then I noticed that I hadn't fully shut the oven door, and thought maybe the cake wouldn't have been fully cooked. Then I thought that the kitchen would be a bit hotter if the oven had been on for nearly two hours with the door open. Opening the door fully I realised the cake tin was still quite cool and my immediate thought was I'd burnt out the oven or something. Then I realised what I'd done.
I'd switched on the top oven and put the cake in the bottom oven! Another two hours before it's cooked (allowing for the oven to heat up first).
Aargh!
As I was going out to a concert last night, I noticed a strange sign chalked on the pavement where my cul-de-sac meets main part of St. Johns Road. When I went out shopping this morning, I noticed several others, more or less identical, and I think all at street corners.
The sign looked a bit like <U, except there was a vertical bar down the middle of the 'U'. In some versions the bar did not make full contact with the rest of the symbol. Turned ninety degrees, it looked a bit like a Euro symbol with a circumflex accent.
My best guess is that it is some marking preparatory to some roadworks that are about to happen, marking pipes or cables.
The sign looked a bit like <U, except there was a vertical bar down the middle of the 'U'. In some versions the bar did not make full contact with the rest of the symbol. Turned ninety degrees, it looked a bit like a Euro symbol with a circumflex accent.
My best guess is that it is some marking preparatory to some roadworks that are about to happen, marking pipes or cables.
